Stream of Consciousness

So quick update tonight. We are all settled into our new digs. Hannah and I have our own apartment but live above a fimily. It's pretty ideal. We have our own space, but they take care of us. They even gave us Togolese names. I'm Essie and Hannah is Effie. I'm probably spelling those wrong and it took me a good day to even learn how to say them correctly. Ewe is a tonal language and for our names, you have to raise your voice on the second syllable. These names are very common here because everyone is given as one of their names a name that corrilates to the day of the week upon which they were born. Very confusing. Essie is for Sunday even though I was born on a Thursday. I almost corrected them, but then Essie was pretty easy to say and I didn't want to risk getting a harder name. Our appartment turned out great. We have electricity, an ok internet connection, running water with enough pressure to take a shower (Woohoo!!!!) and a good bed with a mosquito net. We can cook here, but often we eat with our family downstairs, or rather they cook for us and we eat later... they are even kind enough to give us forks so we can eat American style (we all know I have germs, so this makes me happy). I ate my first Fufu yesterday. I'm not even sure how to describe it... it's a big ball of goo. Literally. It's mashed up yams (but not the yams you know. these are giant yams about 1 foot long) that magically transforms into something that looks entirely unpalatable. It's really not so bad though. I'm afraid, however, that I've offended a ton of people already because I can never finish my food. Apparently it is extremely insulting to not finish ALL of the TONS of food they give you. It's rather annoying. I either feel guilty or sick. I chose guilty for now. Maybe the whole summer. But definitely now while I'm still adjusting to local cuisine. My American stomach is wondering what the heck I'm doing to it. Hannah and I ate dinner in our apartment tonight: fresh, delicious avocados, soft, sweet bread, and peanut butter and nutella for dessert. What more could a girl ask for??? (well, I could actually think of a lot of things, but we're being thankful for what we have here).


Today was a whirlwind. Hannah and I met with and interviewed seven church facilitators (they are the people, usually totally awesome, who have gone through Chalmers training and are now starting their own savings groups). It was absolutely exhausting but challenging and encouraging at the same time. When I can forget how hot and uncomfortable I am for a moment and see what God is doing in the villages, it's really amazing. We met with two men who are Muslims using the Chalmers (explicitly Christian) materials. They said that since their training, their lives have changed dramatically for the better and other Muslims are asking them why. They are still not Christians, but pray that this connection will continue to form and plant seeds in their hearts. This is a really cool opportunity. 


Despite how busy and exhausted I've been, I've been thinking a lot lately. It's hard not to be confronted with soe big questions here. I do some of my best thinking on the back of a motobike. It's my little escape. My usual things I do to recharge are non-existent here, so I try to enjoy the time I get to spend scooting around on the back of some random dude's bike (don't worry, mom, I'm always with my translator/guide and always rocking my sweet Togolese helmet). I love to people watch-I actually drove past some guy wearing a Bettis jersey yesterday. I wanted to hug him, but I was on a moto and thought that jumping off probably wasn't worth it. Determined to get a pic with him though. Adding it to my bucket list. Anyway, so I love to people watch but it's rather heartbreaking. I struggle with how people live like this. . . and why. It's just hard when the Fall smacks you over the head and you see how broken the world is. I sometimes struggle with feeling overwhelmed with it all. What can I possibly do to make a difference here? . . . But how can I not try? It's disheartening and I'm praying that God gives me a large portion of His compassion and strength to face this all. I don't have to make sense of it, I just need to figure out his will and be faithful to it. Easier said than done. 


I stumbled across an old email today that I wrote to a friend about 2 years ago. The words hit me again and became my prayer for today and this summer. I thought I would share them with you: "I've been seeking after my own happiness and fulfillment when I know that's not what I've been called to. What the heck have I been doing? I've been so concerned with MY future, MY success and what I want that I've been blind to God. I was so worried about wasting my youth and throwing away my future, but I know that this is what my youth is for. Preparing for His future work and serving now as well. So, while things may not be perfect for me, I'm content and confident as I live for His happiness, not my own." Definitely have not figured this all out and could use your prayers here as well. 


I decided to start a little tradition on my blog where I just quickly list some things I'm thankful for. Today, I am thankful for: avocados, the crystal light packets that my mom packed me, my mosquito net/safe haven, my wonderful and hard working translator without whom we would be utterly lost, and for a God who is using this time to challenge me. What are a few things you are thankful for? Make a list and post it as a comment.